A Question, golf and 'if you come today'.

The Unanswered Question

X: I talked to Y sometime back. She said I'll be fine when I leave blogging. She is quite sure about it. I tried so many times. Nothing happened. I NEED to write. Even if the blog is as crappy as "I love rain sprayed hair". I am not a copy writer. I cannot weave beautiful stories. Or incomprehensive poems. My blog is not a waste of space right?

G: He who builds according to every man's advise will have a crooked house. If you think your blog is a waste of space, it probably is. Do not ask others, they will never tell you. Everybody would tell you what they think is appropriate. You cannot please everyone. There always will be someone criticizing you for the action that you take. Concentrate your energies on pleasing yourself. People would talk behind your back. Fuck em, they do not know the fuckin half of the story.

The day G was proved wrong

G was in Bangalore for some work during the weekend. Good city, better weather and pubs galore. So anyway G had to go to Le Meriden and the rented car was to come late that day. So G hailed an auto rickshaw.

G: Le Meriden?
Rickshaw: Ain?
G: Erm... Leee Meridien?
Rickshaw: Don't know sir.
G: Opposite Bangalore Golf Club.
Rickshaw: Oh, okay.

So G got into the rickshaw and soon they were cruising through MG Road. G noticed that all the places there, the shops, restaurants etcetera have a signboard, depicting the name in English and the script which G is assuming to be Kannada. And on most of the boards, the latter had a greater font size than the former. So yeah, G was observing the boards when he got a feeling that they just took a wrong turn. But G was not sure though cause he thought that the rickshaw was probably taking a short cut and also the thought of discussing this with the rickshaw driver did not seem ideal as he obviously understood very little English or Hindi. Bad move. Soon the rickshaw halted to a stop.

Rickshaw: Sir.
G: What?
Rickshaw: Bangalore club.
G: What? I said Bangalore Golf club.
Rickshaw: This is Bangalore 'girls' Club.
G: Kya? I said GOLF club not GIRLS club. Don't you know Hotel Le Meridien?

By this time G was getting furious and had raised his voice. The rickshaw, probably not used to people screaming at him; what with the soft spoken geeks everywhere in the city; reciprocated.

Rickshaw: Don't you know where it is?
G: I don't, if I knew would I have let you bring me to the wrong place? *Almost a whisper* Dumbfuck!
Rickshaw: If you don't know then how would I know?
G: You are a fuckin rickshaw driver, rickshaw drivers are supposed to know where places are. Holy fuck! Would you want to consult with the other rickshaws and take me to the appropriate place?
Rickshaw: *grunt*

He then drove up to another rickshaw and they discussed something in Kannada. All I understood in the conversation was Le Meridien, Bangalore Golf club and Sanky/Shanky Road. After speaking to this rickshaw for about two minutes, the rickshaw started moving again. And this time when it stopped it was at the correct place. Aww fuck. Stop asking dumb questions about signals. Eitherways.

G: How much?
Rickshaw: You confused me, you gave me the wrong address. This is Sanky/Shanky road. You should have told me about Shivaji Nagar area.
G: I do not know all that, I am not from here. How much?
Rickshaw: You gave me the wrong information by saying Bangalore Club.
G I DID NOT say Bangalore Club. I said Bangalore Golf Club.
Rickshaw: Yes, that's what. This is not Bangalore Golf Club. This is Bangalore Gaalf Club.

G was stunned when he heard that. So he was driven to the wrong place because he did not speak in the elite Kannadiga accent. G cursed his stars and conceded that it was his fault and moved on.

So next time you are in Bangalore and wish to go to Le Meridien, tell the rickshaw that you wish to go to ' Bangalore Gaalf Club'.

And yeah most of the conversation with the rickshaw took place in bad English and Hindi.

Also, this is the same city which saw crazy riots when the legendary actor Raj Kumar passed away. Follow the link to sample the greatness of this actor.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZqGSA4n3kMo

Prof G Speaks yet again...

Today, professor G will give you a brief lecture on how to survive a mob of raving maniacs.
So you start the day at 08:00 in the morning which gives you sufficient time since you have to report to work by 10:30. You go through your morning rituals and wait for the colleague whom you usually travel to work with. You are enjoying your greasy instant noodles when he calls up to inform you that he would not be coming to work today since his stomach is spearheading the non co-operation movement. You ask him to take care and hang up. You wash the noodles down with a glass of tang and head to work. You then hail a rickshaw and give him directions to your workplace.

So you are now on your way to work, your last for the week since you are going to New Delhi the next day. You think about those cold mornings that you had woken up to in that beautiful city when you were there for your cousin's wedding. You think of those midnight spins around the India Gate area followed by your second round of dinner at 'parathe wali gali'. Your mind is lost in the web of beauty spun by the capital city when you notice the choke. You curse out loud and get in a discussion with the rickshaw driver on how the roads of Bombay are so cramped. You talk to him about the wide Delhi roads with room for further expansion. You sigh. What you see next makes you kinda uneasy.

You see a huge mob of people heading from the opposite direction. They are carrying some multi colored flags and some weird insignia. Before you realize it, the rickshaw is swarmed by the mob as the protestors try to make their way through it. You are not usually easily shaken but you feel very uneasy today and your thumbs start to twitch. There is an artificial fire in the eyes of each and every protestor. The anger is not genuine. It is of the forced variety. The kind that stems out of frustration and boredom. These are people with bad jobs and lots of free time in their hands. They cannot afford to go to swanky multiplexes or the glitzy clubs so they seek entertainment in eve teasing, rioting and being a total jackass. These are people with no real power over life, and thus when they find themselves as a part of a mob, they get drunk blind by their new found strength. They start believing that they are one of those cool mushroom-cloud laying motherfuckers who can make the world go round in the other direction. They start to believe that they are an unstoppable force. What do they say about little knowledge being a dangerous thing? They probably have not heard that. And they probably do not know that there always is a motherfucker at the top who can wipe that strength out of your existence in one fell swoop. But anyway, as of now, you concentrate on calming your nerves and stopping your thumbs from twitching.

Just then a guy, not more than 20, probably a waiter at one of those shady bars, peeks into the rickshaw and starts swearing at the rickshaw driver. He asks him to stop and tells him that its a 'bandh' today. He threatens to hit him if he does not get out of the rickshaw. Then he looks at you and asks you to get out of the rickshaw too and walks away. This is going to get bad unless you do something. Your mind starts racing as on what can be done. The easy way out would be to pay the rickshaw and get the fuck out of here, but easy ways have always poked your conscience. You just cannot leave the rickshaw in the mess and go especially since he is there in the first place because of you. You look around and then see one mini-leader kind of the person walking towards the rickshaw guiding a smaller group. This one is an experienced man and seems to be less angry and more sane than the rest. When he is passing by you, he guides the people following him to steer off the rickshaw. You then speak in the little Marathi that you know.

"Bandh aahe kaai?"

"Ho, pan gaadi band naahi."

Saying that he gets in front of your rickshaw and paves way for your rickshaw to go. The mob lets the rickshaw pass and you heave a sigh of relief. You notice that the rickshaw driver is shivering and you let out a li'l laugh.

To fight or not to fight.

It had been a regular day so far with nothing to talk about except for a welcome change in the weather. It was sorta cool and breezy, seemed like winter was knocking on Mumbai's door. G was going to meet Y, a fella from his locality. Y had called G earlier today and requested for some DVDs. As G entered Y's apartment complex he noticed this li'l stray dog limping around. The dog seemed to be in a bad shape and G felt some pity for it. He made a mental note to feed some biscuits to the dog on his way out.

G tried ringing the door bell but it didn't seem to work so he knocked instead. The door opened, it was Y.

"What's up with the door bell dude?" G asked, greetings weren't required. G and Y are beyond that.

"Ohhh... band hai andar se. Cleaned the house today. You know, the Diwali thing."

"You too? Hah. I was assisting my Mom with the same. It's a pain man."

"Tell me about it... You want a coke or something?"

"Nah man, am heading out to meet some people. Just came to drop the DVDs you wanted."

"Sahi hai. You got all?"

"Haan, all that you wanted except for Snatch. It's lying with a friend."

"Ah cool. Hey do you have Revolver?"

"No man... could not find it anywhere. Will have to try and download it."

"I so want to watch that one."

"So do I mate. Guy Ritchie is brilliant at what he does. They don't fuckin release his movies here."

"I know man. It sucks. They should ban Karan Johar and his clan of glycerine abusers in the name of good cinema."

"Exactly my thoughts. So what's happening at the work front?"

"Lagi padi hai yaar. This colleague of mine is fuckin it up. He is a madarchodh number one."

"Kya huaa yaar?"

"Arre man.. he joined the organization a little over a year before I did. And I have accomplished more in six months than what he did in a year and half. The bosses are happy with me and I have been promoted to his level. Uski fat gayi hai. Now he has some friends in the organization, so he and his brood try to fuck me up all the time. They make it a point to act all obnoxious and shit when I bring a potential client to my office which sorta embarrasses both me and the prospect and I usually fail to cut the deal because of that."

"What the fuck... and...?"

"And what? Chutyapanti hai yaar. I cannot do anything man."

"Dude! Tell your immediate boss about it. He will sort it out for you."

"I cannot do that man. If he takes some action, no matter how subtle, they would know and then would fuck me up in worse ways. It would be like making the rat race public."

"But dude... there is a chance that it would work out in your favor and they would have it so bad that they would not dare do something of the sort in the future."

"Fat chance man."

"You cannot not do anything about it man. If you continue like this, you would be tumbling downhill soon. The prodigal recruit to a wet blanket. Just like that. Come on bro, you cannot let that happen."

"I do not have a choice...."

"Fuck man. Fight back. It's a jungle out there. Survival of the fittest. They've been hitting way below the belt Y, and for a while I believe. The new age golden rule says ' Do unto them before they do unto you.' There is only one person who can help you man, that's you."

"I don't know man," Y said, "by the way would you be going for Don?"

The conversational non sequitur kinda baffled and annoyed G, but it was clear that Y didn't wish to discuss his problems any further. Also it was clear that Y was not interested in doing anything about his situation. There is a limit to how much a man can help another and G had reached his. So he did not bother Y further and allowed him to shoehorn movies into the conversation. They chatted for a bit and then G left, still thinking about Y's situation. People like Y's colleagues make G sick. People like Y make G sick some more. G reserves a special dislike for people who refuse to do anything about the bad situation they are in and choose to crib instead. G's thoughts were interrupted by the sight of the same dog that G had seen earlier that day. It pleased G to see that somebody was thoughtful enough to set some food at a corner for the poor soul.

So our li'l McLimp was relishing his food when two bigger dogs appeared outta nowhere, growling in an attempt to scare him away. They flanked him from both the sides forcing him further into the corner and away from the food. G lifted a small rock and thought of scaring the bullies away for him. Before G could as much as step towards them, the li'l one started barking furiously and locked his jaws on one of the bullying canine's left ear. There was this small dog fight and ultimately the bullies bested the li'l one and forced him to flee from the scene and hide under a car. G let go of the rock and made his way to the general store. He got a packet of biscuits and went back to the brave li'l dog and fed em to him.

"You did well." G said to the dog before leaving, hoping he'd understand.

Some of us do not have the strength to fight, some do not have the will.

Return to innocence

Why can the world not go back to the good old days where humanoids were not civilised? Why the fuck do women have to get embarrassed about their menstrual cycles? G sincerely believes that things were simpler during the caveman days and most of the conflicts rose after the foundation had been set for the so called civilisation. Civilisation brought about rules of conduct that made man a 'social' animal. 'Social animals my ass!' says G. When the first human walked this planet he was expected to behave like all the other creatures. His sole purpose in his life was survival. Reproduction was his duty. But man has forgotten all that. The whole process of formation of society has made man; that what was supposed to be one of God's most beautiful creations; a slave to rules of social conduct set up by society.

G believes that the problem actually began when Prometheus stole fire from the heavens and gifted it to mankind. Knowledge is a weapon, one that the humanoids have been shamelessly using for their own destruction since forever. Prometheus meant good of course but it was a hasty step, terribly miscalculated. No wonder he faced the wrath of the Gods.

Talkin about God, the book Shantaram has a very thought provoking discussion about God between the protagonist 'Lin'(Author Gregory David Roberts) and another character, Khaderbhai. If Khaderbai is indeed a depiction of a real life entity, like Gregory David Roberts writes in his book, G is willing to give anything to meet him. Balls! G doesn't give a damn. Intellectuals bore G. All they do is talk and talk some more, as they yap away to glory in an attempt to discover the meaning of life. G has but one suggestion for them, try discovering the joy of living first. Before you pack your bags and hit the road on your great quest for meaning of life, try and discover what it means to live. And stop making those rules of social conduct for heaven's sake. You are murdering your race.

For his part, G is happy being a caveman, where not many things embarrass him. Yeah, G aint immune to the social bug. There are some things that embarrass him too. But deep in his heart, G knows that one day he would rid himself of this infest. And G is sure that somewhere, there lives a man, many men all over the world, who do not get embarrased at all. And somewhen, G would be one of their kind.

That woman...

September 10, 2006

"I love it here." she said. Still rolling the coffee bean in her mouth.
"Did I not tell you? You cannot not love Mumbai after spending so much time in the city." G replied.
"No silly, I meant I love it here, the sea-side." she said teasingly, tilting her head, "How can I like the pollution, traffic jams, the overcrowded buses and trains and the pavements are 'unwalkable', what with all the illegal vendors and squatters.. it's terrible."
"Embrace the beauty and refuse to accept the thorns that come with the rose... you small-town types I tell you" G retorted, shaking his head in an exaggerated manner.
She slapped him on his arm. "Aye!!! You better watch it."
"You do not have to get all violent about that.. I know it is not easy to accept, but yeah you have to live with it."
"I know baba, I was just kidding. It is the people that make Bombay that what it is."
"Err... I was talking about the bitter fact about the 'selective acceptance mentality' of you small-town types. You have to live with it." G said busting on her once again.
"G, I am going to murder you!!" she said.
"It's gonna be not so difficult, I am kinda suffocating because of your terrible perfume, it will kill me for sure the next time. Just apply a bit more of it when you see me next."
"You want to apologise, that is Carolina Herrera you are talking about Mister." she said pretending to be pissed.
"What an irony! You were complaining about pollution a while back." G retorted, disregarding what she said.
"Ugh I hate you!! Aye I want seeng chanaa." saying that she went to the seeng chanaa wala and got a coneful of roasted peanuts and chickpeas.
"So when are you goin to Jamshedpur next?" G asked her as he helped himself to some nuts.
"You seem to be in a hurry of sending me back, tough luck though turnip, I aint goin for the next 2 or three months."
"I have to go to Bangalore, I was just hoping that my trip coincides with your Jamshedpur trip."
"Ehh... why so? It's not like we are going to the same place anyway."
"Ugh.. whatever."
"No tell me! Why were you hoping that happens?"
"Nah forget it!" G said as he helped himself to some more nuts.
"Why are you not takin any chanaaa?" she asked G.
"Because I like peanuts!" G said
"Ohh... so that's why you get selected wherever you go for an interview!"
They both burst out laughing at that. And they walked away, hand in hand into the sunset.

She was a good woman. An active member of a prominent organisation striving for the betterment of stray animals. That is what had brought her to the city of Mumbai from the charming town of Jamshedpur. She had weaved dreams with G of going to Jamshedpur together, before heading to Shillong, the first stop of their plan to hitchhike their way through the northeast. G totally adored her smile and she was absolutely charmed by G's ways. G called her 'Moonkin', she called him 'Turnip'. They were happy together, but some things are never meant to last. They had to part their ways. This was about a year ago. The last that G spoke to her was in December of 2005, on his birthday. It's her birthday today, 10th of september. G tried to call on her cell, but seems the number has been disabled. G called her room-mates cell, praying that this number is still functional. The room-mate answered. They talked for a few minutes before G hung up, devastated.

The room-mate informed G that Moonkin was one one of the victims of the 11th July train blasts in Mumbai.
Some people are just too nice, they have perfected the art of enjoying the small things in life. These are the kinds that follow their heart and do that what they desire. There is an aura about them that you just cannot miss. And tragedy has its way of finding them.

I love you Moonkin.
May your smile, shine on.

Characters

An update long overdue ehh? Well G's been terribly busy lately. That goddamn time of the year. G was doing his taxes and stuff. "So G has not been writing?" you ask. Well G is. As much as life snickers at him the love affair between him and the tapping sound of the keys is so not gonna end. And G has been writing, editing, rewriting, re-editing and giving away that arrogant smile of triumph when the painting looks complete.

"But what have you been writing?" some people close to G ask.

Well... G has been creating some character sketches. Fictional characters. G is gonna try his hand at creative writing. G has three characters ready. None of em very impressive, but then satire would not require heavy characterization. Now that G is talking about heavy characterization, he would talk about what he thinks are very impressive figures characterized in ink (or fonts).

Tracy Whitney: The central character from Sidney Sheldon's 'If tomorrow comes'. A wronged woman who swears revenge upon people who framed her and made her mother kill herself. Tracy's misadventures start in the prison where the fellow-convicts rape her. She then plans to escape from the joint and exact her revenge upon her tormentors. Once appeased, she tries to live a respectable life, but her 'record' leads her to embarrassing situations. That's when a new Tracy is born. Tracy the Constar. Constar damn it not porn star. And this is where the fun begins. The heists have been brilliantly plotted and Tracy keeps getting more impressive with every turn of the page. Good presentation. This is the only Sidney Sheldon book that G ever liked.

Brutus: The man who betrayed Caesar. The character is too damn strong and overshadows anybody else. G doesn’t have any words to describe Brutus, because whatever he says about Brutus would be an understatement. Remember, it's not that he loved Caesar less; but he loved Rome more.

Sauron, the dark lord: Do not ask 'Who?'! Sauron is the villain from The Lord of the Rings. Although no physical form of Sauron has been sketched in the book but you always feel his presence. More so whenever Frodo and Samwise goof up or land in trouble. He exists in the Orcish hordes, in Shelob's lair. He is present in Saruman's eyes and Wormtongue's evil thoughts. He hangs onto the ring as Frodo gets closer to the fires of Mount Doom, making it heavier and making Frodo's progress difficult. Very brilliantly presented.
Tolkien, G bows before thee.

Atticus Finch: The protagonist from the classic, 'To Kill a Mocking Bird'. A righteous man driven by his convictions. He takes and maintains his stand no matter what situation he is in. In the book, Atticus stands up for righteousness and justice rather than giving in to the unjustified convictions of the majority. The impact that he makes on the community is reflected when even though he loses the case, the defendant's sympathizers stand up in respect for him. A character so great that it gives G gooseflesh every time he thinks of it.

Gail Wynand: The tyrant from 'The Fountainhead' who endorses the Wynand papers. The ruthless business tycoon behind 'The Banner' a hard hitting tabloid. Arrogant and observant, he raised from the madness called Hell's Kitchen and made his way to the top. On his way up he used to do menial jobs and when he did me his way, he'd get hell from his employers. "You don't run the things around here", all his life he heard this one sentence a million times. And then when he got to the top, he decided that it is payback time and named his yacht 'I do'. Gail had an idea; he always visualized a man, a living being who would be incorruptible. All his life he destroyed many strong men trying to find that one incorruptible spirit. And then when he found him, in the form of Roark, he devotes his life to his friendship with him. Most of his life, Gail had sacrificed his integrity for power. Thus, when gratified by his position, he began his hunt for a man stronger, more powerful than him. A man who would not give up his ideals for anything. The characters of Ellsworth Toohey and Howard Roark from the same book are equally impressive. But there is something about Gail Wynand that makes him tick Gail Wynand is G's most favorite character ever. He inspires a quality in G, arrogance.

G: The man behind a certain web log who refuses to take any shit from anybody. Very aggressive yet calm and composed. As proud as a fuckin peacock and as rude as one can get. You don't like him?? Well then kindly fuck off!



March 09 Shaken, not stirred.

And G would not write.

He would hold the windows key on the keyboard down and hit the letter R. In less than 2 seconds he would type notepad before he hits enter. And then that huge white screen would come up. And then G would think. He would think of one amazing story after another. And then he would type a few words before he deletes the entire thing.

"Ain't good enough." he would tell himself and then think some more.

A few more thoughts, another story, some more typing, and then the same old ctrl+a and delete.

"I cannot be bothered." he tells himself. And he exits out of the notepad and goes back to playing GTA: San Andreas.

"You are lonely G," he can hear a familiar voice say; "your blogging helps you communicate with the world. It's your release. You do not write because you want to write, you write because you have to write."

G writes not because he wants to write but because he has to write?? G does not do anything because he has to do it. He does whatever he does because he wants to. So keep your psycho-analysis to yourself.

UGH! Fuck you bitch, see what you've done to G. He would not write anymore. It's unbelievable how G has stopped doing something that he enjoys doing just because of something that somebody said.

Reverse-psychology is a mean weapon.So G is gonna rest, sharpen his daggers in the meanwhile.There is this one thing that G does that nobody can stop him from doing. Fight back.

"Strike one G. You ain’t invincible after all", the bitch called life snickers "I am waiting."

And G lets out an inaudible grunt.

Color me.....Saffron?

"What is the purpose of your life V?"

"What do you mean?"

"What is the force that drives you? That what makes you want to live?"

"Well, I want to live life to the fullest.. I have a wife, and about 1 or 2 years down the line I might want to start a family."

"Hmmm... so you mean procreation is the purpose of your life?"

"Well... no but... G! What’s the matter with you?"

"I just realized I don't have a purpose in life. I mean, I always thought I did but turns out I don't. I wanted all the materialistic possessions and all the jazz. You know if you ask me of the day that I felt the happiest in my whole life, I believe I'd say it would be the day I paid the first installment for my car. Or probably the day I purchased a cell phone from MY hard earned money instead of begging and coaxing my mom for some money for me to buy one."

"Great, so that probably means that the need of independence is the driving force behind your life."

"Yeah? Okay... I work like a bitch doin a fuckin job I don't quite like. But I still do it because the money is great. So although its work I don't like, the money that comes at the end of the month gives me quite some job satisfaction. I mean, as long as I can continue paying my installments and party when I need to that’s quite reassuring..."

"Yes. Then why are you thinking so much?"

"So in a few months, the installments would be up that would mean lesser responsibility and a sense of freedom...that should lead to happiness."


"Yes. So hang on tight. You ARE getting there."

".... and then I get into a terrible accident and end up disabled or something..."

"Abbe..."

"No, let me finish. If that ever happens, the rest of my sorry existence I would keep cursing myself for not doing something, ANYTHING that I could be proud of."

"Well... you paid all the installments of your car. From YOUR hard earned money."

"For a car I can't drive anymore."

"G! Stop it. Are you drunk on Sprite?"

"I want to take a shot at something, something else... suddenly I feel that all my goals are changing, I feel I want nothing of that what I have always wanted."

"Somebody help me... tell him he is too young to be struck by midlife crisis."

"The movie was heavy dude."

"Indeed it was, heavier on us than it was on you. And if you continue your rant it will get all the more heavier"

"Hmph.."

"You were always the most patriotic one.. everybody noticed the clenched teeth inside the jaw that barely moved after the interval."

"You did? I thought you were busy pacifying your weeping wife."

"Whatever.."

"Hah."

Conversation at the Airport restaurant after 'The Movie'.

On Dharma.

People always talk about Karma (the bastardized version of Karam); 'what goes around comes around' being the physics of the idea. But what they conveniently forget is Dharma (or Dharam), which simply means duty: you ought to do what you ought to do '. Speaking of Dharma let G tell you of an experience he had at a Mumbai mall sometime last year.

It was a lazy Sunday afternoon and G had nothing to do. So G called his pal Sandy who suggested they go to Inorbit, since he had some shopping to do. Inorbit is one of the neatest and biggest of the few malls that G's hometown has.

So G and Sandy were browsing through the stores, looking for interesting stuff when a glimmer caught G's eye. He looked in that direction to notice this tiny looking cute girl. She was short, thin (didn't look thin though. thanks to the fat at the right places), real sharp features and ultra pretty long hair. The sources of the glimmer were those xxl sized ethnic looking earrings she was sporting. G nudged Sandy and pointed his chin in the girl’s direction. Sandy seemed to like what he saw. But all he said was "yeah... cute." G kinda felt that the girly sensed the interest that these two guys showed in her, but couldn't be sure. Either ways, both carried on with their window-shopping business after the remark from the esteemed Sandyji.

After about an hour or so, when both were done with the browsing business, G and Sandy moved to the food court to pacify their irate stomachs. G bought a sandwich and iced tea; Sandy called for a frankie and coke. We got ourselves seated at one of the empty tables. After about a minute or so Sandy gestured as he asked G to turn around and look who was sitting at the table behind G. G turned around to find the same cutie sipping coke with some other girl. And this time she sure noticed G. So G carried on with their eating business as Sandy switched between looking at the girl and enjoying his frankie.

G asked Sandy
"Too cute?"
"Yeah" he replied
"Cute enough to interest you?"
"Uh huh"
"Go talk to her"
"Nah..."
"Want me to talk to her?"
"NO!"
"Nah seriously.. Tell me"
"Erm...okay."

G doesn't usually do this kind of thing but he was feeling extra brave that day. Guess it was one of those days that seem so perfect that something sure ought to go wrong. Either ways, G took a deep breath, got up, walked up to the girl’s table and said

"Hey"
"Hi!" she replied
"How you doin'?"
"Couldn't come up with anything better?"
"Ehhh?"
"Well, you guys been checking me out since afternoon. And finally when you have gathered enough courage to approach me, you'll copy Joey..."
"Excuse me?"
"That's the line Joey uses. Couldn't come up with anything better?"

G is arrogant. G is mean. And G's arrogance gets amplified when somebody acts arrogant with him. G's devotion to his Dharma was being questioned here.

"Oh... so were you looking forward to and hoping for a pick-up line?"
"Uh huh."
"Oh... okay... how about..." super long pause,
"Hmmm....?"
"Nice shoes, wanna fuck?"

Saying that G turned around and walked back to his table. G still remembers that shocked expression on the girls face and the gasp that her friend let out. G wanted to laugh. HARD. But he resisted. Sandy didn't have a clue on what had happened. All he had heard was the last line and seemed curious to know all that did.

Word's from the wise, don't ever forget your Dharma.
What's G's Dharma you ask?
G's Dharma is to be arrogant.

SneakPeek

Nobody failed to notice the Black Devil as it screeched around the driveway. Was it a Lamborghini or was it a Jaguar? Nobody could tell. The flashy vinyls and sideskirts concealed the car's true identity. The car jolted to a stop outside the gates of G-Zero. Unlike the name suggests, G-Zero was a colossally magnificent building. The architecture was modern with large glass windows and tons of steel.

The car doors opened and a figure stepped out. One would have expected a Black man in pimp clothes or a spoilt girl in short skirts. But the man who stepped out was not white and not black. His looks said he came from the east somewhere and the mocha color betrayed his tropical origins. He was dressed in a well fitting expensive suit and had what looked like a platinum Rolex around his wrist. He possessed aristocratically good looks and walked with an air of mild over-confidence.

Christina frowned at the entrant’s sight as she hurried forward to take his coat. She didn’t know what the man thought about him. The man was very gentle and cordial when he spoke to her, but more often than not she got negative vibes from him. "Today," thought Chris "I am going to find out!" The man had handpicked Christina Roberts from the Harvard business school and had made an offer that she couldn’t refuse. "If nothing else," Chris thought, "he is a good judge of people." She had already accepted the job offer as a Research and Marketing strategist from MedaTech, a leading software company. Three days later she got an offer from an obscure company that claimed to take the hospitality and entertainment industry over by a raging storm in the next few years. Chris rejected the offer mentally before she read the last line. This company offered her four times what MedaTech had. The next day she saw herself on a plane to LA to sign the contract.

The tall figure stepped forward as Chris took his coat and greeted him with her usual plastic smile. The man just nodded as an acknowledgement and began to walk towards the express elevator to his office when he heard Chris stammer
"S-seriously G. You ought to t-tell me.. what do you think about me?”
G turned back and said, "If I gave you any thought.... I'd probably hate you."

Excerpts from G's autobiography 'To G or not to G'. Some names have been changed for reasons unknown.